sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
