Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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