You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
