they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
