yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
