im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize