wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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