What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
