Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Randomize
