Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
