yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
