Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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