found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
