I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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