what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
