brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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