it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
