I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
