david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
