If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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