its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So much rum. So many feels.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
