Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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