How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
