Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
