Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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