$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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