I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
