that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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