So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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