i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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