I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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