she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
