we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize