Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
