think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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