I feel like abortions should bother me more
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
