So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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