so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
