Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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