people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
