Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
