he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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