I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
