i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
