Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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