i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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