Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Randomize
Follow @tfln