i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.