Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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17 year olds will be the death of me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking