Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong