Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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