Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize