saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
