You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize