Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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