Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
