So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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