he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
