I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
