My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
