After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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