everyone is single if you try hard enough
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize