If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
