They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
