I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
