That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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