I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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